Never complain about how much work you have. Smile as much as possible.
Agree with whatever your supervisor says. You can feign intelligence by saying “I was just thinking that very same thing!” or “You took the words right out of my mouth.”
Turn your enthusiasm up to 11 when the office drones “celebrate” your birthday.
Go crazy on the karaoke machine at the office Christmas party.
Work late every now and then and put in a few weekends during the year.
Don’t ever gossip.
Don't ever like whatever the Creative dept. presents. Always say that you have a concern that you cannot express for some reason.
When a colleague has too much work, offer to help, but don’t actually do anything. The important thing is that you offered.
Show up with a box of Krispy Kreme every now and then.
Don’t take credit for your achievements. This shows what other people call “humility.”
Use the jargon du jour: 360 approach; algorithm; three-pronged strategy; umbrella concept; communication pillars; sustainable; socially responsible; network cloud; platform integration; copydeck (as opposed to “text”); graphic identity (as opposed to “logo”)…
Dress somewhere in the middle of Executive and Creative.
Don’t be the first one to get to the office in the morning, but don’t be the last.
Don’t be the last one to leave the office, but don’t be the last.
Limit yourself to two chain mails a month, with the Subject Line: “I never do this, but…”
Sacrifice a son’s Goofy Games every other year.
Be discreet about how much you make. This might mean downplaying your exotic vacation, luxury car, nice house, expensive dining habits, etc.
Don’t ever partake in an office romance.
On Christmas, Halloween, Easter, St. Valentine’s Day, put a bowl of candy on your desk.
